I needed someone to tell me
I was beautiful
I was smart
You never thought to tell me
You let me fall
Believing the words of an earlier fiend
When I should have been believing you.
Crazy FoolTo my dearly beloved soul mate,
Where ever you may be,
Please promise that you are
At least as mad as me.
And if you are a fool,
I guess that's alright too
Just love me foolishly forever
And I'll be madly in love with you.
one hundred wordsSometime I don’t know who she is. She seems like a fairy, like one gasp of the wind will take her away from me. I watch her, and the look on her face is one of a great distance, her mind somewhere I can’t even reach, even as I hold her in my arms.
I am afraid. I don’t want any space between us, no matter how small or insurmountable.
I love you.
She tilts her head up to look at my face. When our eyes meet, she smiles. My smile. “I love you too,” she says. “I am yours.”
MonstersI’m hiding under the bed, but
Don’t say anything, please.
The blanket is like a curtain,
Like on that stage we went to see.
With the dancers,
Your mummy took us and we stood outside in the cold for hours.
Or maybe it wasn’t hours.
Why am I under the bed?
I wanted to know if monsters were under there.
You told me they did, though it might have been Lolly
Or Becky, or Jay.
Anyway, there aren’t.
I searched from corner to corner and bumped my head on the top because I tried to stand up,
But I couldn’t, because of the bed.
Don’t tell anyone
I think the real monsters live above me see,
I can hear them screaming at each other.
Sometimes I think I hear mommy, but it can’t because mummy promised
I could have a chocolate before dinner for being good and
Because of the monsters.
If mummy was there then she would stop the monsters
And then I could have my chocolate for being a good girl
Like mummy said.
When you told me you loved meYou told me you loved me on a night like this. There was a tension in the air, so thick that walking into it was like slamming into a wall, and it crackled, as fire crackles, and sparks, and spits. That night, we stood, shoulder to shoulder, watching the lightning whip out across the sky. My hand was in your hand, my face in your eyes as you glanced down at me, blazing iridescent in the crack of light. You told me you loved me as thunder boomed overhead; I pretended I hadn't heard the words you said. Inside, my heart pounded louder than the orchestra of the storm.
Tonight, you stand across from me. The air around us is tighter than any coiled spring, crackling and burning, laughing at us. The sky outside the window is dark and starless; an empty curtain that lays over our world.
Tonight, you tell me you're in love with someone else. I can pretend I haven't heard you, but the pain, and the conviction, both lay side by side on your face. As I glare into your eyes, there's only darkness t
The NightmareThe nightmare hides behind my eyelids. I try to refuse it, curling onto my side and clutching the sheets in clawed fingers, warding it away with my tense body. But I feel it's heavy presence, waiting for me still.
Hanging on my bedpost like a tangled spider, the dream catcher rustles it's beaded arms. There are more, hanging on hooks around my bedroom, some smaller than others, handmade and bought. An army of soldiers to watch me struggle beneath the oppression of my fears.
I moan and tangle myself in the duvet. The first tendrils of darkness creep through me and wrap around my fighting body, before dragging me deep, deep into it's clutches. In the bed, my arm lashes out, my knuckles slamming into the wall. The pain resounds through my unconsciousness, but does not free me. I'm already caught. Already drowning.
I'm trapped in a rolling sea of shadows, alone, blind and deaf. I scream, perhaps, but the darkness invades my mouth. I cry, and the salty tears are swept away, just like me.
You are EverythingYou are amazing.
You are the smiling face,
That gave that kid
Better hope for this place.
You are the helping hand,
Even if you didn’t know it,
That helped everything turn out
Better than planned.
You are the voice
That helped someone
Make a vital choice.
You are the joke
That made them laugh
And gave them that stroke
Of happiness that they needed.
You are the bright eyes
That light the way,
A lantern of hope
Through the fog of lies.
You are their push towards
Their positive afterwards.
And you are far from worthless.
Are the most important person
In the world.
We are all characters
In someone else’s story.
That pivotal point,
That pushes them from misery,
And leads them to their glory.
I Will Love MyselfSilence was at my doorstep.
Rain fell from the storms of my eyes
and hit the cold earth of my cheeks.
Sunlight fell down my face
in gentle waves.
And blood tinted lips
smiled only slightly.
The gentle spring
that bloomed inside my chest
had begun to grow
and replace the winter
whose frost had held tightly
onto my heart.
Silence was welcome.
Tears were shed in joy.
Sunlight was here to warm
and blood to live.
This was it.
I had made it.
I know who I am.
I locked you in my closet,
in the recesses of my mind.
I kept you in the dark,
I kept you in the stagnant, static,
strangling air for what seemed like
years because you couldn't
remember what day looked like anymore.
(You would sit facing the wall,
scratching letters into the paint,
nails curling and cracking upward.
"I love you,
I love you,
I love you," over and over until
you would bleed from your eyes
because you couldn't
keep them open anymore.
That paint was toxic.
You fed off the fumes of dried
polymer and you were so sure that
if you tried hard enough
the words would go through
It must've taken months.
The world traveled around the sun
like you traveled around me,
hovering from a distance
so that I wouldn't burn you.
They all say that it was my
gravity that pulled you
toward me, but it was always you,
They say love is blind and I believe it.
But we didn't start out
loving each other like we do now.
Eat Something, PleaseIt's your fault, you know.
It's you who's spewing your guts into the toilet,
like powdery snow.
Every day you hit the bathroom floor,
grasp the porcelain rims,
and your vomit echo through the door.
I hate it! I hate it, more than anything in the world.
I wish you could just tape your mouth shut,
and your noises I could ignore.
It's all about you, and the agony you've been through,
but through your selfishness and saliva,
I hope you realize I suffer too.
I stay by your side when you treat me like crap.
When you scream at me and yell,
I've always had your back.
How I wish I could purge when life gets too tough,
I wish I could be weak like you,
but my strength is just too much.
How wonderful it would be, if you could take my place,
and when you saw your broken form,
then you would see the pathetic look on your face.
But “plop, plop, plop” your vomit continues to roar,
and through the repetitive screech,
how I wish I could slam the door.
I wish I had the strength to leave your
I Won't Let You Become Like MeI saw you fall to the floor.
Because you couldn’t take this anymore.
You laid there and said to me,
Through tears that fell from your eyes,
“Who cares if I were to die?”
Reminding me of those hundreds of times,
I’ve seen people bend and break.
I’ve gotten so used to smiles that are nothing more than fake.
I remembered standing by silently,
Watching everyone collapse around me.
Seeing bottles scattered around,
Broken glass covered the ground.
And I wondered to myself,
“Is he ever going to get better?”
And I watched you as you died,
Slowly tearing yourself apart from the inside.
Memories are still flickering,
Behind my eyes.
I suddenly remember my own cries,
For someone to save me.
Because I was so close to falling,
That the abyss seemed more inviting,
Than trying to hang on for a moment longer.
Because my arms were too tired,
To hold on.
I am back in reality,
Watching you fade away.
And I see myself,
And the countless other people I’ve wit